Feel Dream Live

Young A and D came to visit. For all societies privacy reasons I cannot name them. They were born to circumstances not of  their choice but it is what life has bestowed on them. It is their journey! Somewhere, their parent were lost to heroine and crime and yet there is a light shining so bright through their young souls. I first met their grandparents 3 and a half years ago on a transfer bus. I love traveling. It stretches my comfort zone. We get to know people for who they are and not the box society so much wants to put us in. My life is so much richer for these experiences. Back to A and D. It's been a while having a young child in my home. I had no toys but that does not matter for I realised by raising my son that toys does not bring joy, but love and understanding does. So the feather boas I use as tie backs became the best ever toys. The imagination has no limits when you are young or old. It is your choice. A feather boa can be a boat, a friendship circle, a...

We are nearing the end of the 2015. Amidst the free flow of drinks and fireworks will be the thousands of New Years resolutions that will never come to fruition. I met up with a good friend last week. He asked me what my 5 year plan was. I told him I did not have one. Did not give the reason and was not asked. The words- If you fail to plan, you plan to fail passed over his lips. I said nothing. I have a plan, but have learnt that life happens when we make plans. Life throws a curve ball once in a while. Health scares are never planned or even a New Years resolution. I adapted my New Years resolutions 11 years ago to become daily solutions instead of yearly resolutions. I keep an eye on the future. I deal with each day as it happens to find the sunrise and sunset. As long as I keep moving forward.....

I am happy without an Appy I see the trees I smell the jasmine I feel the wind in my hair I taste the sea salt on my lips I touch hearts Who needs an appy when you are truly happy?

Last night was the local art club Christmas function. Everyone attending had to bring a piece of art to be entered into the annual Christmas exhibition. We all were asked to judge our favourite. The winner- number 12. Number 12! Looking form a distance it was amazing. The way the light played over the water, the perfect reflection of city signs and lights... Some took a closer look. Right close up and spotted the flaws... I could not help but wonder. So often people look at each other from "a far", they like what they see, it may even reflect themselves. What happens when they take a closer look? Do they then see our flaws? Will we still be their Christmas number one? Is this the difference between a critic and a friend? My personal choice was the runner up. The trees reflecting in the stream. For in the running water, the reflection was neither perfect nor flawed. It just was.....a reflection.

Running out of milk for morning coffee is never fun. Instead of waking up gradually in relaxed way, you have to get up, get your showered, get dressed and negotiate the road on the morning school and work run. That is the absolute nightmare for a free spirit who lives life against the rat race! But this morning, it made me laugh and reminded me of living life unbarred. I stood in the queue behind a gentleman of about 75. He was having trouble packing his groceries in his fabric recycle bag with floppy straps. The young female shop assistance asked if she may hold the strap so as to make it easier. He gladly accepted. "You are so kind helping me. I wish I met a woman like you long time ago, but I only seemed to get the bad ones. Young lady, you have made my day, I just wish you could make my night!" Life without holding back. Do not wait until you are 75 to live life unbarred. Have a happy week :-)

It was the switching on of the Christmas lights in my home town last weekend. I decided to brave the cold. The drawing card -The Torn and the promise of a spectacular fireworks display. Winter arrived in full swing and it was time dust off my winter coat and start a search party for gloves. Gloves and coat. Winter never completely starts until I order my first hot chocolate of the season- extra cream if you please. Coated and gloved I ordered and was promptly served with the words: Would  madam care for anything else? Wrapping the cup in a napkin? And so Saturday evening started. The following morning, dressed in tracksuit bottoms, t-shirt and fleece after my morning run, I ordered the same hot chocolate with extra cream from the same person: Is that all love? There are napkins at the station at the end of the counter. I never knew gloves made such a difference.

Stupidity - behaviour that shows a lack of good sense or judgement Unconditional love - caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves Me and Mrs A sat at the kitchen table. I look at her and ask her - when does unconditional love become stupidity? Some of the qualities we share is forgiveness and unconditionally. We wonder why we get disappointed when all we have to give is love and yet time and time again it seems to fall short of what is expected of us. So, thinking of your children, family etc. when you time and time again get disappointed but you choose to forgive because your whole being is about unconditional love does that qualify as stupidity? We are taking time to think about this as neither one of us can even comprehend not loving unconditionally. Maybe we will just settle for stupidity. Stupid unconditional love because judgement is not ours to hand-out.

Closure or acceptance So often we hear the words- you need closure. Close one door so another can be open. So many doors! Is there not an alternative? What if we just accept change. Accept that life is fluid. It does not have to be closed. Do we fight closure or acceptance because our plan for our life got dealt an unexpected hand? I am not sure where the words- Fail to plan and plan to fail fits in. Plan and fail because not everything can be planned. What if, one afternoon, you opened the door when it rang and was pleasantly surprised by what life sent you and it was not in your plan? Serendipity?

My dear Chrissie She sits and stares out of the window. She does not talk much. It is clear to me that there is a deep conversation going on in her mind. After days of quiet contemplation and getting to know me, the conversation starts to flow. She has a beautiful way of explaining the harsher realities that life has bestowed upon her. No hate, no regret, no jealousy, no bitterness but a loving longing for peacefulness. She looks at me and quietly says: you are too young too be this wise. What has life shown you. I can simply say- which life and smile. She turns to me and says: It's not that I fear death, but I wish someone told me that this "God's waiting room" would be so tremendously painful. Physically and emotionally. Before I leave the room, she gently takes my hand and says -thank you. I feel overwhelmed with emotion for I understand the full extent of her sincerity. For it is when we learn that the void does not have to be filled with words that ...

I love spending time on my own. Many times, I will have lunch by myself. I love observing peoples reaction to dining on your own. It starts with - table for just you? No, my invisible partner would like a place setting too- doh. The thing is, society has become so used to being in company, being entertained, not being alone that we become oblivious to our surroundings. We seem to have to focus on something. The person eating alone without the need for a newspaper, mobile phone, tablet or company to keep them "busy". By being alone and comfortable, is how I met George. George is 87. He lost his wife of 65 years only 4 months ago. Elegantly dressed with a twinkle in his eye we got chatting. See, if you are not drowned in social media or electronics or mindless conversation, you have the opportunity to engage. Admittedly, he tells me how he misses her. I cannot for one second comprehend how this must feel for him and I do not pretend I do. I simpl...

Never again Saturday I was asked- so why do you do it? Why do you keep a property when it is not making you any money. I bought a property 9 years ago. For 9 years it has made continual loss. Any savvy investor would have taken the hit and got rid of it. Me, no. I keep it. Why? You ask. It is the ultimate symbol of loss, betrayal, greed, deceit, lies.... But is also the ultimate symbol of love, honesty, vision, dreams, creativity, friendship, compassion, forgiveness...... It resembles the end  and the beginning all at once. It serves as a constant reminder of life lessons learned, never to be forgotten.

Sunday afternoon As I am making a Sunday roast for the first time in a while, I had to smile. I always wondered why my mother had 13 dinner sets - 19 of everything! It was easy to remember my parents friends. The married ones and the young widow. Today, setting the table is more than just the memory. The number of people are a lot less, but the value still the same :-)

The honesty about anxiety There is nothing more beautiful than pure honesty. This was what I experience in her tear filled eyes when she looked at me and said- you know, since Toni died, I get very anxious. I miss the comfort of sleeping next to him. Most of all, I miss my sounding board, my friend, my soul mate. I get so anxious when I have to make all these decisions on my own. I feel so unsure at times. I started to cry for so many reasons. I was trying to avoid working with this client because the challenged seemed to big. The challenged turned out to be a friendship in the making. What challenge are you avoiding?  

I recently had the pleasure of spending time with a client. What fascinated me, was the amount of unfinished projects that surrounded her home. Why did I find this fascinating? I her working life, she is so particular and through and painfully meticulous by time and yet in her personal life, the amount of "later" projects are chaotic, unfocused and show no time of ending? Curiously I asked which project she intends to follow through? I was met with a blank stare. What will you finish if there is no pressure to finish a project?

A few years ago I met a friendly lady. She was exceptionally hardworking, had a gentle soul and a quiet demeanour.   After knowing her for a while she one day confided in me. She confided that her favourite place had become the far corner of the supermarket car park - the place no one goes for it is to far to walk back to the store.   The words that followed haunts me still- you see, I can sit there in my car and cry and no one ever knows.

People have an obsession with time. The sun clock turned to the pocket watch, which turned to wrist watch, a mobile phone watch and now a computer wrist watch. Kingeep up with time and events. All lovely, until time does not matter. What will matter to you, if time was not important any longer? I look at nature. It is a sound clock without counting the minutes. It knows that rushing will not make it grow any faster.

The roots we follow Humans and trees are more alike that what we realise. The roots are sure to follow a path to survival and nourishment. For humans. the roots are but a repeat of what you have been taught by your life's choreographers. For many, these will be parents, grandparents, teachers, mentors, friends etc. So which way does your roots grow? The rocky path or through the fertile  soil? What route your roots choose to follow determinates the fruit you bare. Are you following your own route or the roots that you are expected to follow?

The dog that chases its tail The dog that chases its tail get a lot of laughs. The more people laugh. the more it performs. The on looker laughing thinks- what a silly dog, chasing its own tail. Human life is pretty much the same. The more attention we give to foolish behaviour, the more the fool performs. Wondering which is more acceptable- the fool happy to be the fool or the onlooker happy to be fake?

Life after death This week, it is 14 years since my mother passed away. No amount of time can ever erase love. The last few weeks I was fortunate to have wonderful conversations with my mother. Wise beyond her years and taken away from this life way to early. She was peaceful. Her beliefs made her last days peaceful. An acceptance of the unknown. She did not fear death. She feared for us, the ones that got left behind. She understood the pain of loss, the emotions of guilt of things not voiced. She had time. We had time. Time is something our modern generation seem to not have enough of- until we are faced with death or loss. Spending time with Jean made me realise the importance of time and how we spend it. A lady of formidable ability and courage. A lady who met and lost her love way to early. A lady who changed the landscape of a social structure through her courage and tenacity. But most of all, a lady who loved with all her heart and soul. Her words of wisdom in the ea...

When did it become to hard to cry And so easy to lie? When did we, the public, Make our responsibility That of another and of each other? When did the right to freedom Become the prosecutions of another? When did you have you flee your country of birth For telling the truth? Is it not time For each of us To toe the line Of respecting each other Regardless of colour Country or crime? When will we see How we deceive Our natural wealth For black Friday stealth? Will it be to late When GMO is licensed for hate? The terror you so fear, You create By turning your face To decisions they make.