7 Essentials for your F*&k It list

We all are familiar with the "Bucket list". The list full of things to do before we die. Are we so arrogant to know when that is? Surely everyday is it's own bucket list or if you choose to accept this mission - your "to-live-list"

I started living by the F*&k It list! It took a while to realise it's importance. I had to turn from an "askhole" to a do it all. I was one of those people who would ask for advice and never take it. It cost me dearly! The one time I knew what to do, I took advice. Mistake! That made me think of 7 things I feel is essential for a F*&8 It list.

1. Say F&*k It to a dead-end job

You wake up but you feel tired just thinking about walking into the office. The coffee is never strong enough to wake you up until you leave and then you stay awake all night. Your boss is never satisfied and keep reminding you that everyone is replaceable.

At 23 I realised one important thing about myself. I worked for a dentist. His room had no windows. His soul had no windows either. I made myself a promise- I will never work in a place that does not have at least a 10ft window overlooking something green. I kept that promise to myself. I am happy to put in 20 hour days as long as I have a view.

A room without a view affects your life! A boss without a soul will kill you slowly!

 

2. Say F*&k It to people who take you for granted

No one will take advantage of you unless you allow them to. Set clear boundaries. Set them early. Set them clear. Know what you are willing to let go and what not.

Being nice and being polite does not mean you have to let people walk over you. You do not have to get the coffee or lunch round everyday.

I remember the day when I realised that people should not mess with me for being nice.

I used to help tidy up after play days. One mother (actress you may know) thought I was still in the WC and told the other mothers to leave it, Mia will do it as usual. F*&k it, Mia took her son and left!

With that went the Saturday night baby sitting, school collections and many more. I made sure in future that I am very clear that helping others in by no means a blank check, but a balance sheet. If it does not balance, you have to pay for difference somewhere.

3. Say F*&k It to tradition, limitations, restraints

Sunday lunch! Mums roast. One of the great family traditions..... until.... you are asked by all attending why you are still not married at 38. The reminder that parents are getting older and would like to have grandkids before they are to old and and and and......

 

 It is precisely at the point you can remind your parents that, just this week, in the UK, a 55 year young lady gave birth to healthy triplets and that if they would like to see their grandkids, you wish to make the following suggestion: take up Yoga to stay flexible, become vegetarians to reduce the risk of heart attack and prolong their lives. Also, it may be a good idea to visit a nudist beach to feel what it feels like to be free. Once you see them leading by example, you will do your part to provide grandkids.

 

4. Say F&*8 It to addictions

Next time your partner whines and you go for  grabbing the wine, say f&*k it and go for the milk instead. If you don't sort it out there and them, they will milk your drunken, avoiding behaviour  for life. Life is short. Sort your shit out and avoid addiction of any sort- alcohol, drugs, relationships, sex, attachment, co-dependency,work etc.

Unless you want to be a dick stay an addict.

Get help! Not from your friends, but professionals. You may be surprised that your addiction is not always your burden.

5. Say F&*8 It to open relationships

3 years ago I stood at the station with a friend who informed me that he is now in an open relationship with a girl. Being rusty on the old dating scene I asked what he meant. I have know him for 7 years and turned to him: What happened to your self respect!!!?

Open relationships - I love this about you, I like that about him and I will take my time to see which one of you pans out to my like.

The first time I was introduced to open relationship's was in the late 80's , early 90's when we were bundled into a school hall, shown an explicit documentary about HIV and Aids.

Rock on if you want but remember to be safe!

6. Say F7*8 It to corporations

Support you local business. The face, the place, the voice, listening to your choice because they truly care. They care about your stories of you children, the hangover after the celebration of your bachelor party the night before, your grandmothers funeral.

There is to much emphasis on profits and to little on human contact. The local exchange is the human exchange. The twinkle between kindred spirits. The free biscuit ,when your toddler is teething and crying and you look and feel like death after having no sleep the night before.

I had to fight to get maternity leave. I vouched never to be employed again. So I started a business. Rule one for all who worked with me was this: Your children comes first.

The rubbish corporations make us believe we need status, possessions etc. which pays for the lifestyle they feel they are entitled to! 

I spend quite a bit of time with dying people. Only 2 things is very clear in our conversations- they miss their loved ones and are concerned where they go when they die. We have no control over either. All we have is love. That is enough.

True Love - Soya

7. The last but most important - say F&*8 It to drama

 

Drama - a story usually involving conflicts and emotions through action and dialogue and typically designed for theatrical performance.

 

It is only recently that I understood the importance of saying F&*8 It to drama. I am a very "feely" person. I have great empathy, sympathy, understanding and love for my fellow human beings.

The challenge with this is that I easily emotionally provoked to stand up for injustices.

This has earned me the title of "drama queen"

 

I went out, bought my self a gown and a rather nice tiara. Could not find a crown.

 

We easily get provoked by people we love and care for. At some point in your life you trusted them enough to let your guard down, share your life, your soul, your dreams and your love with them. The fact that they abused that special privilege says more about their character than of me being upset of the misuse of my vulnerability and earning this very special title and  tiara.

 

So, from now on I say F&*8 It to getting upset when I chose to be vulnerable and get hurt. I will still feel. but with silence. 

 

I love you drama queen- tiara and all!

 

 

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